Basically, our ego is defined as our belief of our own self importance. It is our belief that we are separate from everyone and everything. You can see the product of the ego in daily life, as we all scurry around competing with one another trying to get what’s “ours” and trying to survive in this “dog eat dog” world. We become jealous when someone accomplishes or attains something that we desire like there isn’t enough to go around. We become offended when someone doesn’t give us the respect that we believe we deserve, simply because we are so important that they shouldn’t treat us a certain way. The ego reveals itself even more in the world of athletics. As athletes we are in a world that is dominated by egotistical people. We are continually surrounded by large egos whether we are with our parents, teammates, coaches, or opposing players. Everyone wants to be the best and we become upset at the very idea that we might not be the best. More often, players, coaches, parents and others involved in sports are so connected with the ego that instead of looking deep inside themselves and understanding where they are at athletically they tend to blame others for their position on the team or getting cut or whatever the case maybe. They are so connected to their own level of self importance that they are paralyzed with fear to be honest and admit that they could improve. You see this in players when they blame others (teammates, coaches, etc.) for a loss, or for why they got cut, or why they struck out or made an error. Even more subtly however you see it in pre-competition anxiety and fear of failing. You see this in coaches when they blame the “talent level” of their players as the reason they can’t win. “You can only do so much with what you have.” is the mantra of coaches attached to their ego. Their belief that you have to have “talented” players in order to win is their obvious attachment to their ego, I mean it couldn’t be them, they are great coaches, if only the players could understand!
Our attachment to our ego and to our own self importance at every level is the very thing that limits us from achieving all the things that we desire to achieve. Carlos Castaneda once said, “Self importance is our greatest enemy.” He couldn’t have been more correct. As athletes our attachment to our own self importance is the very thing that creates fear of failure, bitterness, anger, arrogance and frustration when we are out on the field. As such these negative feelings cause us to be limited in what we can accomplish. You show me an athlete who is free from ego and I will show you an athlete who can accomplish anything.
Why is this so? What is it about our own self importance that limits us? Every negative emotion and feeling that you poses is directly linked to your attachment to your ego. Fear of failure for example is pure ego and selfishness. Why are we afraid to fail? Well one reason might be that you want everyone around you (teammates, parents, spectators, coaches, opposing players) to believe that you are a good player. We are attached to the idea that, “I am what others think of me”, so we are afraid that if we don’t play well then other people might not believe that we am any good. As such this means that I am not good and my level of self importance is then greatly reduced. You might argue that you are afraid to let your team down, thinking that this is you trying to serve your team and not that you are attached to your own level of importance. I would argue however that this is just ego in disguise. You really don’t want to let your team down so that they won’t be disappointed in you for striking out with the game on the line, or so they will lift you up on their shoulders after you get the game winning hit. Either way this is still you being made to feel more important by the actions of others.
In order to reach the levels of success that you desire it is paramount that you stay in a positive state and play the game from your heart. This is impossible when you are attached to your ego. So how do we do it? How does an athlete release the restraints of egoic thinking and play more from their heart, ultimately unlocking the unlimited potential inside all of us?
Nobody accomplishes anything alone Even when we believe that we have accomplished something entirely on our own, we really needed other people to allow this accomplishment to become a reality. Nothing you accomplish was done entirely by you, therefore you are better then no one and your accomplishment is the accumulation of the effort of many people. For example: If athlete plays well enough to earn a Division 1 scholarship after his parents had taken him to hitting lessons since he was 12 years old he has many people to thank for his accomplishment. His parents for buying the lessons, his instructor for teaching him the right skills, his high school coach for allowing him to play, his college coach for giving him the scholarship and so on. This accomplishment was not accomplished entirely by the athlete so the athlete has no reason to feel as though they are better or separate from anyone. They should rather feel gratitude for all the people who helped him reach that accomplishment.
Develop an attitude of service An athlete can go a long way in releasing their attachment to their ego by continually looking for ways in which they can serve. In every situation through out the course of a game they should be continually asking themselves, “how can I be of service?” How can they serve their team, the game, the fans, and their opponent? What can they do to make this game better? This attitude forces the athlete to focus on something greater then their own personal achievement. They can serve their teammates by doing whatever they can to help the team win. They can serve the game and the fans by playing hard and doing things correctly demonstrating good body language and playing the game with the respect it deserves. They can serve their opponent by giving them respect, playing hard and staying focused at all times, holding themselves to a high standard of respect and sportsmanship and not allowing themselves to be dragged into the negativity of trash talk or disrespecting the opponent in anyway. Looking for ways to serve will allow the athlete to disconnect from their ego and as such have more personal success.
Release your need to win This idea comes to us from Dr. Wayne Dyer’s book “The Power of Intention” I know, I know, sounds crazy right? Really think about what this is saying. I am certainly not saying release your DESIRE to win, but release your NEED to win. When we need to win to feel as though we are good we limit ourselves tremendously since we are not going to win every game or every at bat. There is always going to be someone who might get the right bounce or be a little more prepared at some point along the way. If we base how we feel about our performance on a NEED to win then we are limiting ourselves. Remember you are not your wins you are much more than that. Your confidence should not be based on your performance but rather your confidence should be the reason for your performance. Holding onto the ego and believing that we are our wins, or our hits, or whatever keeps us in a state of uncertainty since our confidence will fluctuate with every game or every at-bat. You can enjoy competing and have a love for being in competitive situations but if you hold onto your need to win you will completely loose the enjoyment of competing. Your enjoyment will be based entirely on winning or not winning. This limits us because it puts us in an emotional state that doesn’t allow for growth. When you have a need to win you then think everything is okay when you win. You miss out on opportunities to improve because you accomplished your goal. When you loose you become so upset and frustrated that it is impossible for you to objectively look at what it is you need to improve on or the fact that maybe you did improve and you just are not yet up to the level of your opponent. Either way you are limiting yourself and will never be able to explore your unlimited potential.
The ego is something that affects all of us. We have been conditioned over the course of our lives to believe that each one of us is separate from everyone else. We believe that we are in competition with everyone else and that what others think about us makes us who we are. If you can remove yourself from the confines of the ego you would be literally astonished at your level of improvement as an athlete.
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