Dealing with Coaches

Almost daily I hear at least one of my athletes upset or giving me some kind of complaint about their head coach. I started thinking back to my early playing days and I have to admit that I was right there with them. Most of the time I couldn’t relate to my different coaches, didn’t understand what and why they did certain things, and probably most importantly why they made certain decisions. But, really my frustration came from my own inability to please my coaches. I listened to everything they said, tried to apply and do what they wanted in the hopes that this would increase my playing time.

As I’ve gotten older I can now look back and see the mistakes I made in dealing with my coaches. I now have the ability to recognize what coaches really are and how I could’ve handled things differently. I am certain that by taking a different approach in how I dealt with my coaches I not only would have had a lot more fun playing but I would have been able to improve at a faster rate which would have ultimately allowed me to play more and at a higher level. I want to provide you with a couple of ideas that you can use to help you deal with any situation where you might be unhappy with your head coach.

Common misconceptions about coaches:

1. The hardest workers play- This is something every coach says. Almost every coach that I have ever had or have ever worked with uses the old saying, “I am going to play the guys who work hard.” This statement inevitably leads to a few players working their tails off while the rest of the team goes through the motions and more often then not some of the hard working players don’t ever get off the bench. This leads to frustration on both the player and the parents part which ultimately affects the team, your happiness, and your performance. It’s important to understand that this statement is nothing more than a motivational technique. It is geared to get players fearful of losing playing time and force them to work hard. The irony is that this technique usually only works on the players who would work hard anyway. Always remember that while it’s a noble idea that the hardest workers will play and in a perfect world this is how things should be the reality your coach isn’t getting paid to be noble. He is getting paid to win games. Ultimately that is the bottom line. Your coach while he may like you and your work ethic is getting paid to win games and if he doesn’t feel like you give him the best opportunity to do that then he is going to play the player that will.

2. Coaches don’t have “favorites”- All coaches do the best they can to not have favorite players on their team but let’s face it, they are human. Of course they have favorites, their personalities may mesh better with other players then they do with yours, or maybe a player reminds them of themselves when they were younger. Whatever the case may be unless you are substantially better then one of their favorite players then they are the one who is going to play.

3. Coaches are usually teachers or volunteers- Bottom line, most coaching jobs don’t pay well. As a result this has a tendency to keep many, very talented coaches away from coaching at the high school level. The mistake many players and parents make is that they always assume that your coach is the reincarnation of Casey Stengel. The fact is coaches are human. In order to make ends meet and to be out there coaching you they usually have to hold other jobs or become teachers. As a result their full time can not be spent on coaching. They have many other responsibilities and as such are going to make mistakes. As players we always expect them to be mistake free but they are going to make mistakes, mistakes in judgement both during the game and during practice. It helps if we remember that.

What can you do:

1. Take control over your own development- We always assume as players that our coach is there to help us develop into the players we wish to become. Once again we must remember that this isn’t their job. Their job is to win games and since they have other jobs and other responsibilities they can’t possibly develop each player on their team. That is why it’s important for you to remember that this is your career, whatever you desire to accomplish you can. Regardless of what your current situation you are currently in you can still accomplish anything you desire. But in order to do so you must take control of your own career. You are not a victim of bad coaching, you are not limited by being in a bad situation. You can take charge of your own development. Get outside coaching, read books, watch dvds, ask questions of other players or coaches, whatever you do it is your responsibility alone to develop yourself as an athlete.

2. Have a higher purpose- Sometimes it’s easy to become frustrated or deflated by the actions of your current head coach. Players will have a tendency to become sour on the game itself because of the actions of their current head coach. You have to have a higher purpose, a loftier goal, something that is going to motivate you to go to practice everyday with a positive attitude and get the most out of your time there. It’s also important to realize that the situation will pass and when it does you can still be apart of the game.

3. Transfer or switch teams- While this may sound a little drastic the fact is in some situations, no matter what you do, you may just be in a situation where the coach doesn’t think you are going to play or a situation where you and the coach just aren’t going to get along. It’s important to remember that you are not a victim. You are not stuck and your career is not over. It’s just one situation, one coach, one team. There are many teams out there, many schools, and many different coaches. You have the ability to find the right fit for you. Just because you didn’t fit in on one team doesn’t mean you won’t be a perfect fit for another. If you really want to play, don’t get bitter or angry at the coach, simply acknowledge that the situation isn’t the right fit for you and then go out and find the right situation.