In Order to Win, Accept Defeat

Let’s face it, nobody wants to lose, strikeout, or make an error but unfortunately these things are part of the game. Regardless of how hard you work, how much you try there is no avoiding these things and sometimes they come in bunches. Unfortunately losses, strikeouts, and errors have become symbols of something much worse then what they really are. From a hitting standpoint I see this a lot. Parents, players, and coaches have turned a strikeout into something much worse then what it really is. We’ve turned it into a direct attack on our ability, a sign that something must be wrong, a sign that you might not be as good as you think you are, or even a sign that you’re up to the plate with a lack of focus or not trying. Worse yet we’ve turned a strikeout looking to be the ultimate insult to our ability. Something that just “can’t happen” and as a result we’ve produced athletes that are petrified of the strikeout. You see at at every level of the game even at the youngest levels. You rarely see an 8 year old cry after a groundball out. However watch him strikeout and the tears start flowing. At the high school and college level I get players who strikeout once, twice, or more in a game or two and it’s time to hit the panic button. “This can’t happen! He needs to go up there and be more aggressive!” the parents will tell me. Really? When is the last time you tried it?

We have this misconception that we can avoid these things if we simply try hard enough, as if they will disappear by shear will power. We simply can’t allow ourselves to fail or look bad. I mean after all, how could our fragile little egos deal with the fact you just struckout, kicked a ball, or even lost a game? Unfortunately what we don’t realize is that our intense desire to avoid these unpleasant parts of the game is actually creating athletes who strikeout more and make more errors. We’re creating athletes who don’t enjoy competing and as a result we are hampering their development because they are afraid to push themselves because God forbid they fail.

Look, in order to begin to change this problem we first have to see these things for what they are. A strikeout is just a strikeout, an error is just an error, and a loss is just a loss. They have no bearing on your abilities as an athlete or what you’re capable of becoming (yes even if you strikeout looking off a pitcher who “sucks”). In my career for example I’ve been lucky enough to get hits off of Major League pitchers and have struckout off of some of the crappiest pitching on earth. Does that mean I’m better then the Major League guy or worse then the crappy guy? No! All it means is that in that one at bat I got a hit or in that one at bat I got out. Nothing more, nothing less.

Secondly, we have to completely accept that these things are going to happen. What I mean by accept it completely is not to just know that these things will happen and do your best to avoid them, but to completely accept the fact that regardless of what you do, or how hard you work that you will get called out looking, you will swing and miss at hittable pitches, you will make errors, and that there is nothing you can do about it. You have to begin to embrace failure, so much so that you begin to look at it as a good thing. As an opportunity to learn, grow, and improve. In my own career for example I made the switch from the outfield (in college) to the infield (in the minor leagues). At first this transition was very difficult. Each day that I took the field I was terrified of booting balls, of making errors, and looking bad in front of the players, coaches, and fans that were in the stadium that day. I wanted so badly for everyone to think that I was a good player and that I could make the transition and yet I hit a plateau in my development. I kept booting balls and wasn’t able to extend myself into more and more difficult plays. It wasn’t until I accepted that I was going to make mistakes, that I was going to boot balls and that there was nothing I could do to avoid it. Not even the hundreds of groundballs I was taking each day was going to prevent me from making mistakes. So what did I do? I actually embraced “failure” so much that each day before I took the field I made it my goal to fail. I actually said to myself, “Today I’m going to make a mistake.” I told myself this before each game and even each practice session. I began to understand that if I wasn’t making mistakes then I wasn’t learning and a funny thing began to happen. I began making less and less mistakes. My learning curve accelerated and over night I started making plays that I had never made before.

What I didn’t realize at the time was by doing this I completely liberated myself from failure. In my desire to avoid it I was putting up a mental block that wasn’t allowing me to perform freely. I was hindering my performance by simply not accepting defeat and making my mistakes into something more then they really were. Martial arts expert Bruce Lee called this “learning to die”. He believed that when a person accepts that they are going to die and they no longer fear death then they are free to live life to the fullest. From his standpoint this detachment from death allowed him to face an opponent free of fear which is the greatest hindrance to human achievement. This detachment meant that he was able to execute his movements freely, without any hesitation which allowed him to perform at a higher level then that of his opponent. Which, for him, prevented the very thing most people fear.

I encourage you to put strikeouts, errors, and losses into a different perspective. To begin to see them for what they really are and accept that they will happen regardless of how hard you work or how focused or prepared you are. Liberate yourself from your fear of these things, embrace them, and begin to watch your development sky rocket to new levels.

“To accept defeat- to learn to die- is to be liberated from it.”
~Bruce Lee